this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
