Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
