Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
