Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
