New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
