I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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