Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
