Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
