I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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