yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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