I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
