Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
