it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
home. puking in laundry basket.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bring me that man meat
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize