whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
