just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
