I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What drink are we having for lunch?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
