He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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