she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
