She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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