She said her name was "party"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
