that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
