Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
