don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
