garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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