he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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