I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
