Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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