Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
