Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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