how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
