That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
