oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
