I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
