Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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