I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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