Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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