Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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