One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
