then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
