i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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