after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
