God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
