no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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