I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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