Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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