Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
