I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
