I am in a vortex of obligation.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
