how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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