i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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