Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
