I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
