I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
