I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
