So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
