they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
