it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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