butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
