My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
